


Vaecordia

by Eline (Sans_Souci)



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Bad Ending, Blood and Gore, Captivity, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Non-Consensual, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slavery, Unreliable Narrator, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-18
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:05:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sans_Souci/pseuds/Eline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A request for an ending to a doujinshi featuring Knight of Rounds!/Suzaku with Lelouch as his prisoner. End of R1 spoilers. And a very bad AU ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He who sinned 'gainst you the most . . .

**Author's Note:**

> A kink-meme request for a continuation of an Alternative Universe CG doujinshi ( _Because of the bird_ by Classic Milk * Peace and Alien) because the ending was a hanging ending/ambiguous ending. Funny story--I bought the same book two days before I took the challenge and only realised it two days after.
> 
> Warnings: R1 spoilers. This is a dark fic based on doujinshi--you know how bad it can get in Japanese doujinshi. Extrapolated fic includes violence, knife-play, non-con, bondage, gore, slow spiral into madness, out-of-character characters. The usual stuff one finds in doujinshi. Spoilers for the doujinshi also.
> 
> This is the first and probably the last fic I'll ever base on doujinshi. 
> 
> P.S.: My Japanese translation skills suck.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

_“You were the one he offended the most, your grudge against him is the deepest--do as you will with him.”_

The Emperor’s words rang in his ears as the Knight of Seven strode down one of the many cavernous hallways of the Imperial Palace.

He had been given the terrorist leader Zero to do with as he wished. What were the Emperor’s intentions behind this? It was sure to be an unpopular decision amongst the Britannians.

Those thoughts were foremost on his mind as he returned to his quarters, absently nodding to various nobles along the way. In his former life, he had been Kururugi Suzaku, a lowly foot-soldier who had--by some strange twist of fate--managed to become a Knightmare pilot and then the knight of a princess. Now he answered to the Emperor alone. By his own hands--he had won the right with his own actions. 

Rank had its privileges. He had a suite of rooms to himself and he had given orders that no-one should enter. The reason for this sat blindfolded and chained to the wall of his bedroom. Too dangerous for any conventional cell, his prisoner remained under his direct supervision.

“Not one word,” he warned his prisoner as he undid the bandages that covered his eyes.

Beneath the blindfold, Lelouch’s eyes glowed red with the power of his _Geass_. Suzaku would never have believed that such a thing existed in this world if not for Euphemia . . . That such a power could make a gentle soul commit genocide, control the actions of countless of others and force--

“It won’t stop the evolution of the _Geass_.” Lelouch had the gall to flaunt that _thing_ \--the bird-like sigil that had been imprinted on his back like some strange birthmark. 

Somehow or other, the power was growing. The original _Geass_ in the former prince’s left eye had spread to the right eye. And now that damned mark on his skin-- bisecting the curve of his spine in the middle of his back, “wings” extending all the way to the scapulae. 

“I told you to shut up!”

He did not want to hear his former best friend’s voice issuing from this demon’s mouth. After being presented to the Emperor, Lelouch’s angry, impassioned tirades had ceased. Now he spent his days taunting Suzaku--prodded and provoked him the only way he could. 

The Knight hated how Lelouch could push all his buttons and he, Suzaku, could not respond to some of his taunts. At first, he had avoided his quarters, leaving his prisoner alone for hours. But as there was no-one else who was immune to Lelouch’s _Geass_ , he had to tend to his captive’s basic needs. Lelouch took every opportunity to needle him.

_”Knight of Seven . . . one of the Emperor’s personal Knights,” Lelouch said, mocking him with his eyes and his voice._

_“Shut up!”_

_“So will you silence me then?”_

He had tried to get Lelouch to just stop talking when the threat of armed force did not work. That kiss had led to that tryst in the bathroom. Lelouch had typically tried to turn it into a game of one-upmanship, but Suzaku was fairly certain that he had won that round.

Afterwards, the weight of holding a life in his hands grew as the rumour that the Knight of Seven had been given custody of Zero spread through the court. No doubt the Britannians would like it very much if Zero was executed--done away with quietly and never heard of again. The fact that Suzaku was keeping a known terrorist in their midst was obviously disturbing them.

 _But why ever not?_ Lelouch could not be Zero if Suzaku kept him here, his powers neutralised and bound. If Lelouch was not Zero then he was no longer a threat. If Lelouch was not Zero, then there was no need to kill him . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * *


	2. The end of ambition / The beginning of the end

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It was not supposed to turn out like this.

Zero’s plans had evaporated away like mist. The rebellion had been sundered. Zero had been captured.

For Lelouch, former prince and leader of the Black Knights, the world might as well have ended.

He was a prisoner now. Dependent on his captor for the most basic things like food and water. Exactly the sort of scenario he hated.

The fact that his jailer was Suzaku was just the final twist of the knife in his back.

It was as though the Emperor knew exactly what punishment would set him on edge--which fate would chaff the most. He knew nothing of his sister’s whereabouts--if she was even alive. His only human contact was Suzaku, immune to his _Geass_ and still impervious to every verbal barb he could fling. Chained up like some animal while the world moved on regardless.

Yet he was aware that the _Geass_ was changing in some way. C.C. had told him that the _Geass_ could evolve, but what was the significance of the mark on his back?

Suzaku seemed fascinated by the sigil. Fascinated and repulsed by it. He would keep looking at it, touching it even when they were not coupling like cats in heat.

That . . . had not been the desired outcome of his taunting. He had been naked in front of Suzaku plenty of times for the Knight watched like a hawk even when seeing to his physical needs. Bathing, changing, going to the toilet. He thought he might have been inured to it by now, but Lelouch still flushed when Suzaku undressed him. Still burned where Suzaku’s hands touched his skin.

He had given in--they had given in to carnal desire. Helpless as he was when Suzaku took him, he could not deny that he had experienced pleasure in their rutting.

Then all he could do was wonder why Suzaku was keeping him alive. Surely Suzaku would kill him to avenge Euphemia? 

But the days dragged on and he was still alive.

_What is happening to us?_

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The _Geass_ was still evolving. 

A week after the Emperor had made his orders clear, Suzaku had noticed the feathers. A pair of wings in miniature, sprouting from where the mark touched Lelouch’s shoulder blades.

If this was how the _Geass_ manifested, then it was totally unexpected to Suzaku. He had thought that if Lelouch could not use his power, then it would stagnate.

They were such tiny wings. But still--

What if that mysterious power was growing, trying to find its way out of Lelouch in some way? If that power grew, then it would enable his prisoner to escape.

He added a steel collar and more chains, just in case.

But he could not deny that the wings were a problem after another week had passed. The wings were growing. They had been sparrow’s wings at first. Now they were the size of gulls’ wings when spread.

He could see them, almost glowing in the dimness of the room at night whenever he returned and Lelouch was asleep.

If they grew larger, they might become strong enough to carry a prince away.

* * * * * * * * * * * *


	3. Almost Unreal

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Weeks went by. Lelouch knew nothing of the world outside the room. He grew used to sleeping on the floor by the wall. To the long stretches of time when his jailer was not in the room. To the times when they were skin to skin and their laboured breathing was all he could hear.

He only could see when Suzaku removed the wrappings. Lelouch saw it for what it was. A vain attempt at denying the power of his _Geass_.

It had gotten to the point when he could feel Suzaku’s eyes on him, watching him in silence. Like now.

“What are you thinking about?” Tired of the silence and this game where he did not know the rules or even where to begin, Lelouch tried to goad Suzaku into speaking. “Something important?”

“Maybe I’m thinking about how you’ll escape.”

“How am I going to escape like this?” He tried to lift his arms, weighed down by the thick manacles.

He hear footsteps as Suzaku came closer and then the rough tug of a hand ripping away the bandages around his head.

“That power, that _Geass_ \--it’s evolving so that you can break free!” Suzaku seemed to be easily provoked of late. And he tended to go on about the mark on his back and about Lelouch escaping. “But I won’t let you escape! I swear it!”

“This _Geass_ won’t stop evolving inside me, Suzaku,” Lelouch said wearily. “If you want to destroy this power, you’ll have to kill me.” 

This life without purpose, this existence without end was meaningless.

Suzaku did not take that suggestion well at all.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

_“If you want to destroy this power, you’ll have to kill me.”_

_“Shut up! I’ll decide whether you live or die!”_

_“So you should remember this . . . In this world now only you can kill me.”_

Those words rang in his mind even as he unfastened the chains and slung Lelouch unceremoniously on the bed. 

Buttons popped off as Suzaku tore open the front of Lelouch’s shirt. The chime of metal links against the heavy shackles accompanied his erratic moans as Suzaku teased his nipples and shoved a knee between his thighs.

“I won’t decide if you’ll live or die right now. I won’t . . .” he muttered, bending to apply his tongue to the pert little buds.

“Don’t you hate me?” Lelouch asked, desperately screwing his eyes shut as Suzaku’s warm breath tickled the skin of his collarbone. “Euphemia . . . If you hate me for that, then why don’t you kill me?”

_How dare he? How dare he mention her?_

“You don’t have a right to say her name!” Suzaku knew he was shouting, but he could not bring himself to care. He jerked the chain attached to the steel collar, causing Lelouch to gasp in pain.

“You cling to life still and keep asking me to kill you? Why should I believe anything you say?” He was yelling into Lelouch’s face at that moment, overcome by the force of his rage and some darker emotion he could not identify.

“What are you trying to do?” Suzaku demanded, finally letting go of the chain. He had not meant to be so rough . . . 

Getting over his outburst, Suzaku wondered if Lelouch had been trying to provoke him into wringing his neck on the spot. He abruptly seized a handful of Lelouch’s hair, pulling him up into a sitting position. “It’ll be necessary to kill you eventually . . . but I will not look forward to it. That’s all.” 

He forcefully turned Lelouch over, pushing him facedown down between his legs. Undoing his trousers, Suzaku guided Lelouch’s head forward firmly. He made Lelouch take his cock in, regardless of the helpless gagging noises that issued from his throat.

Slipping his fingers between the rounded swell of Lelouch’s buttocks, he ordered him to use his tongue, enjoying the moist warmth around his cock.

After all, he was only doing what he wanted to do.

Lelouch made a choked noise as his fingers wormed their way inside him. Suzaku could not help but feel another jolt of arousal as he pulled out, spraying a string of milky ejaculate on Lelouch’s face.

That was enough of playing around. He grabbed Lelouch’s ankle, forcing him on his back and pushing his thighs apart despite his protests.

He was only claiming what was rightfully his, he thought as he pinned the prince’s manacled wrists above his head.

Suzaku pushed his engorged member into his captive, still taking care not to cause him injury. No, it would be too easy to damage this frail body under his hands . . .

Inch by inch, he slide forwards into that tight channel, his desire fueled by the soft noises Lelouch was making. Seizing the prince’s erection, Suzaku stroked him until he was hard and moaning before giving in to lust. Thrusting into Lelouch, he let his body set the pace. 

He wanted this. He always had.

He could tell that other youth was close . . . Suzaku ran his fingertip along the underside of Lelouch’s cock, rubbing at the weeping slit of its engorged head--

Lelouch cried out, bucking under him as he came. In the throes of his own orgasm, Suzaku pushed forwards, spilling his seed deep inside his prince.

_I hate you. I want to kill you. But not now._

Pushing himself up on unsteady arms, Suzaku surveyed his handiwork. Lelouch lay under him, flushed and sweaty after his own climax, couched on softly glowing iridescent wings. His tear-stained face was flushed red and pink with exertion, yet Suzaku was still moved to claim his mouth, taking what was his again.

_Mine. Your life is still mine._

He took care to replace the chains after bathing and cleaning his prince, watchful as always.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

In the darkness behind the blindfold, Lelouch had lost count of the days, weeks and month. His world had shrunken to encompass the four walls of this room.

It had all come down to this. His sole desire to find his mother’s murderer and make a new world for his sister had come down to this. The end of ambition. Locked away with his former best friend as his jailer. Betrayer, lover--something else that Lelouch could not define. But he did not like it--this change that he was seeing.

His jailer was becoming more and more paranoid by the day.

The chains were weighing him down. Suzaku seemed to be worried that he would escape. So much so that he had replaced the shackles with even heavier ones. Lelouch, not the most physically-able even when he was not chained to a wall, could barely even move to stand up.

The absurdity of it all was lost on Suzaku, who was always careful to check his chains just before he left the room every time. Because he was afraid that the power of the _Geass_ would allow him to escape.

The wings that only Suzaku could see . . . He said they were beautiful.

_Suzaku . . . what is happening to you?_

They were very beautiful, but they could not be allowed to grow any larger. Those words chilled Lelouch to the bone every time.

_Why am I still alive?_

* * * * * * * * * * * *


	4. Fragile Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gore warning. I'm sorry.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

In the dark, the wings always seemed to glow more brightly. Or so Suzaku thought as he observed them from the doorway of his bedchamber. Almost like angel wings on a demon in human-form . . .

Those beautiful, horrible wings. Their combined wingspan was broader than he was tall. They seemed to tower above Lelouch--above them both. 

Suzaku knew that he had to do something about those wings.

That time was now.

Without warning, without removing the bandages that kept his prisoner blind, he made his first move, unlocking the chains from the wall.

He would erase that cursed mark from Lelouch’s back so that they would both be free of its evil power. This curse that they were under.

“Suzaku!” Lelouch cried out in alarm as he was flung face-first on the bed. “What are you doing?”

It was fortunate that he had not seen the knife that Suzaku held in his hand with the blade concealed against his forearm. He might have panicked even more. 

Suzaku had to hold Lelouch down with a hand on the back of his neck--he was thrashing around too violently, which might result in the knife missing its intended target. Straddling his prince’s hips, he got him pinned down firmly so that he could do what he had to do.

It was a very sharp knife of good carbonised steel. Suzaku had got it ready, sterilising the blade after sharpening it with care. No one asked questions when a Knight of Rounds wanted a good quality boning knife. Only the best, of course.

Lelouch was screaming. Screaming for him to stop as he drew the blade down, slicing the skin shallowly where the centre of the sigil followed the curve of his backbone. 

“Stop moving,” he said to Lelouch. “I might accidentally cut your spine . . . this close . . .”

He made another incision, marring the left “wing” of the _Geass_ sigil. But that was not enough. He had remove it completely. Maybe he should have got the knife for skinning as well . . .

Oh well, he had to make do with what he had.

The screams sounded distant now as he concentrated on his work, cutting out that accursed symbol, removing all that it stood for.

Quite unconcerned by the blood that stained his white uniform, he claimed Lelouch again, to mark him forever.

“Mine, all mine,” he whispered to his prince as he sheathed himself inside that delicious heat and tightness. Lelouch was crying and whimpering that _it hurt_ as he thrust in and out.

“It’ll hurt, of course. But not for long,” Suzaku assured him, leaning over to lick the trail of tears that streaked those fine features. Yes, it would not be long now.

Regretfully, he pulled out of his prince. There would be time to continue this later. There was still the issue of those wings.

It would be best to break the bones off close to where the wings joined to his shoulder blades. He had done some research on bird wings. The bones were remarkably similar in structure to the human arm--complete with humerus, radius and ulna, carpals and metacarpals. It would be easy enough to break them, but he was thinking more along the lines of complete removal.

So he searched for where the humerus would join to the shoulder blade. It was suspiciously difficult to find in the middle of all that blood and broken skin. Suzaku wondered if the _Geass_ had the power to hide itself away. 

Those wings obviously had to go . . .

“Just a while more,” he assured Lelouch as his search grew more frantic. He had to cut out more skin. “Just a bit more and it’ll be done . . .”

There was no reply. Maybe Lelouch finally understood what he was doing--for both of them. He found the hard edge of a bone. At last.

_Strange . . . the bones of bird wings were supposed to be hollow . . ._

Bone and muscle crunched under his hands. His hands were painted to the wrists in gore.

He wondered why there were no stumps where he had broken the wings off . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When the cleaning staff, drawn by the reek of blood, knocked on the door of the Knight of Seven’s quarters the next morning, they received no answer. When they dared to enter, one of their member fainted on the spot, another threw up and only the least squeamish of the lot could, with one hand clapped over her mouth, call for help. Though she was not quite sure what that would accomplish in the long run.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The request was to continue the doujinshi after Lulu wonders why he is still alive (and after Suzaku sees the wings “growing”) with some violent wing-crippling, but . . .
> 
> \- Sat down with dj, my (extremely) limited grasp of Japanese and the online dictionary for a while. It is pretty obvious by the end that Lulu does not and never had physical wings. Only wings that Suzaku can see. So there’s two readings of this--Suzaku is delusional OR the he’s the only one who can see the _Geass_ evolving in the form of wings. Suzaku is a special snowflake. Or just a crazy special snowflake. This doujinshi now has a special place in my heart for having delusional-paranoid-crazy-as-fuck!Suzaku. He always had the _potential_ to be stark raving mad.
> 
> \- I opted to follow the doujinshi’s plot because it was _more_ twisted. The requested wing-crippling could not really be fulfilled.
> 
> \- Credit where credit is due. The entire scenario except for the end was from the doujinshi. Some lines were taken from said doujinshi. Pretty sure the plot was heading to the BAD END.
> 
> \- There was no Arthur in this fic. If he had been, he would have bitten some sense into Suzaku and the slow-descent-into-madness part of the plot would have had it. 
> 
> \- I’m a biology major. We are not usually good dinner conversationalists to have around but we can dissect pretty much anything in front of us.
> 
> \- And because I am pretentious, _Vaecordia_ is “madness” in Latin.


End file.
